Psychic Predictions Ponderer Gifts

"It's empty back there, skipper, a large group of clairvoyants cancelled at the last minute."

"Why bother?"

"Needs to get a life"

"You're solemates!"

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"It will be all your fault."

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

Max Weber

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

'I say we try it.'

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

"I'll have dessert first."

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

"To listen to your instincts, press one."

Telling Self to Buzz Off

Psychiatry ward with 'Inhibited' and 'Outgoing' trays.

Caption Contest TK

"I'm afraid your wife gets to say 'I told you so.'"

'He's always looking for an argument!'

"I see you coming into money, at least 50p for a cup of tea."

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."