Psychic Predictions Fan Gifts

"I see a vague figure of someone groping...groping...groping..Yes, yes, it's coming in more clearly now! It seems to be—yes, it is a man! The man has a briefcase! And some papers! The man is an economist!"

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

Cheer up-things aren't so bad.....

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

Psychic diving competition.

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

"We no longer use Astrology or crystal balls. We now use algorithms to predict the future."

'Of course, the future isn't what it used to be.'

"Oh, a resume is not necessary. I know all about you."

Big Medium

'I'm looking for a short synopsis of the future in digital format.'

"Now...this piece of paper will reveal even more."

"Nothing - he's ghosting you."

"You like people and people respond to that."

"My psychic tells me I was a glass of water in a previous life."

"Do you really want to know?"

"That's because supply exceeds demand."

'...and I see dozens, no, hundreds of dirty socks lying on the floor! And I see windowless cars filled with injured squirrels and blind cats, who take you to an oasis of bacon bits...'

"Johnson's our head of forecasting, he alos works part-time as a successful science fiction writer."

'This time last year you told me that I would meet a tall handsome stranger. Now I need his name and address.'

"Having conducted a thorough analysis of the data it appears clear that profits will go either up, or down, unless of course they stay the same."

'I just love reading your mind. No big words.'

"What can you tell me about my life?"

Hello National Rail Enquiries.. mystic meg speaking.."

"If you never date a prediction it can't be proved wrong."

Nostrildamus.

"I'm not having trouble reading your mind, but the typos and grammatical errors are frustrating. . ."

"You are gullible and naive. You believe untrained charlatans. You squander your money."

"And it shall come to pass, Great Caesar, you shall have a salad named after you"

"Economists, and these days we're missing more and more of the poor souls."

Nostradamus's secret is almost exposed.

"Of course, this prediction has a plus or minus margin of error of 80% or 90%."

"You like to drink toilet water, roll in poop, and sniff butts..."