Risk Ponderer Gifts

'Why am I wearing a helmet?...Why aren't you wearing one?!'

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"Your insurance just called. They don't cover 'having a bad day.'"

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

"I'll have dessert first."

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

'I say we try it.'

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

Have you seen my money?

"I see you coming into money, at least 50p for a cup of tea."

"All of my friends are imaginary."

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

"So, tell me what happened after this Schrodinger put you in this box..."

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

"Woah - random!"

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

'He's always looking for an argument!'

Fortune teller sees impending doom

Thanksgiving Turkey Fortune: "Why the silence?"

The End is Near.

Never mind spring. What do you predict for the economy?

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

"I'll have to cance your appointment for next Friday. I'm going to be sick in bed with the flu."

'You have to admire the way Hartley overcame his honesty and integrity to get to the top.'

"Caution! Now entering the margin of error."

A psychic predicts the discovery of gluten.

A self-filling prophecy.

"Forget keeping all your eggs in one basket. What you need is a nest egg..."