Ocean Oddball Gifts

"Pardon me, but we ran out of gas. Can you tow us into shore?"

How can I enjoy that clean, fresh, salt air when I'm up to my neck in garbage?

"For goodness sake, not again, it's day-time but we can't see the sky: It must be another oil spill..."

Tonight: Wagner's Ring Tone Cycle.

Clam Spearing

"I'll have a man overboard!"

Well, you're busted! Forensics just came back: the bite-marks match your dental records!

"It's not easy being green…"

BP vows to donate revenues from the blown-out oil well to wildlife rehabilitation.

OH NO - Here come the wet-wipes..!!!

An angry Shark has finally found the person who has his missing Jaws and teeth being mounted as a trophy

"This Save the Whales Number has got to go, pet."

"I've got buck teeth, an overbite, big ears, pink eye, a harelip, and I live in a hole. She must love me!"

Fisherman tricks a visitor into thinking a huge buoy is a fishing float for giant fish.

"Kayakers Fred! Let's surface next to them and check the look on their faces!"

Whale shoots rocket at whaling boat.

"You can tell beaches are closed - there's less trash."

Sea temperatures hottest on record

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the Little Mermaid."

You mean this sewage has already been treated?

The Humpback Whale . . . or as the Japanese call it, sushi.

Cocaine discovered in UK shrimp. . .

'Who know sucking dry the foundation of the food chain could make you so rich! This is great!'

"I was going to go swimming, but the ocean is too crowded."

Less Desirable Half-Women Half-Fish

'What is all the racket up here?!'

A water skier is pursued by a shark.

Save the Whales/Free Radicals!!

"Once again, remains consist of a foul-smelling, gelatinous mass."

"Let's just make random clicking noises: it will keep the scientists busy for years trying to decipher our language..."

Space Turkey Aliens visit a family on Thanksgiving.

"I only drink bottled water. Have you seen the trash floating around in this ocean?"

'I'd like a full report on my office paint job.'

"Human waste."

...After the oil spill.