Space Oddball Gifts

'Look! More roaches.'

Tonight: Wagner's Ring Tone Cycle.

Shoot For The Moon

The Milky Way (Detail)

"We found three sort-of Earthlike planets around a nearby star." "Do you think any of them have video games?" "I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an X-box controller." "Proof of video games would change everything." "I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy." "Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species."

Clam Spearing

'Does it bother you that I use wadded tissues as pillows?'

Man looks worried, as his fellow castaway reads book: 'Cannibalism for Dummies'.

Human and alien exchange sex toys.

'I say we report the snow and ice and just leave it at that.'

Astronaut putting his space suit on wrong

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the Little Mermaid."

President of Flat Earth departs laterally

'Remember this test, Ms. Hart? Nineteen ninety. Multiple choice. You asked which of these is not a planet, and I checked Pluto...'

'Deploy the Candarm and ready the Canafinger.'

Less Desirable Half-Women Half-Fish

Space Turkey Aliens visit a family on Thanksgiving.

"There is neither water nor life on this planet! There is only a huge crater full of brown, muddy... Heck, what is this crap?"

Alien throwing out astronaut with the rubbish.

"No, I can't 'just call the AA'!"

'I'd like a full report on my office paint job.'

"Amazing - the event horizon of a black hole!"

"Pardon me, but we ran out of gas. Can you tow us into shore?"

'Please, just wipe my mind not my posh accent!'

"I thought she was being shy. It turns out she's a doom-dayer!"

Track & Field & Stream

"Unidentified object in bagging area!"

Man with deflated sex doll at air pump.

"It's going to rain all week, so I can't take you on walks to get your exercise. So, I'll teach you how to use this fitness machine."

'Hole'