Office Oddball Gifts

The Other Human Centipede

'I'd like a full report on my office paint job.'

"I thought she was being shy. It turns out she's a doom-dayer!"

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."

"Stan, it's come to my attention that you have been creeping people out at work."

'That's what I like about you Roberts, you're not afraid to get out there and take a risk.'

Man climbs a ladder only to find the word HELP.

'This is going to be good, he's taking water balloons into the board meeting.'

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

'See Dick sleep on job. See Dick get fired.'

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'

Office Competitions

'I can't say I like your cavalier attitude Benson.'

"On the plus side, you're on the cover of all the major business publications."

"He's a loose cannon with nothing left to lose, but he's the best damn file clerk I've ever seen."

"He'll be a hard man to replace. Nobody knows what he does."

Out and In.

'Well, that's a helluva great business plan... What have you done before you founded a management consultancy, Mr... umh... Smith?'

"He put the 'fun' in funding."

Work Du Soleil

'You want to run that by me again?'

"He seized the day again. Now how do we get it back?"

'One small point,Perkins-we don't STAMP on the sell-by dates here!'

"This one is less distracting."

"Thanks, but, uh, I think I'll take the stairs today."

"It's wearing a bit thin now, Peterson."

'May I play through please?'

'The printer repair guy.'

Office block moving to the suburbs.

"Your vacation is over, deal with it!"

'Better call me Sir in the office dear - I don't want the staff to know that I send my wife out to work...'

Why is it that you're always being eaten by a tiger when I call you in here, Popper?

'That looks like an unauthorized ride on the mail cart.'