Office Enigma Gifts

"He'll be a hard man to replace. Nobody knows what he does."

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

Businessman with in and out boxes marked: 'Hocus' and 'Pocus'

Smoke and mirrors.

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?'

Inkwell Genie.

In trays read: Bluff/Blink.

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

Man running from desk: 'I can't seem to get away from my work lately.'

41 Rounds of Layoffs Survived

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

Office Politics Superstore.

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

"We're streamlining efficiency by cutting the staff who we employed to improve efficiency."

"Find out who put a 100 dollar bill in the suggestion box. This person has potential!"

"On the plus side, you're on the cover of all the major business publications."

You don't have to be mad to work here but Mwaaark!

'Harlow, do you wnat to be part of the problem or part of the coverup?'

'This potion will get you promoted but I can't guarantee a bonus.'

"My heavens, Bentley ... we've found it. A Silicon Valley headquarters without a slide."

Maybe next tiime you'll hand in the risk assessment on time

"The water for your fishbowl was approved, but it looks like for now you're not getting the fish."

"It's the latest directive from senior management about how to run a 'paperless office'!"

'You remember Mr. Horton? You know, the one you said to give the 'clean desk' award to? -- you fired him three years ago.'

'Yes, Mr Gurkinsky is the lawyer who specializes in advocating employees who are endangered of getting fired because of staying away from work for too long... unfortunately, I haven't seen Mr Gurkinsky for about three weeks...'

"You arrive early, You work hard, You stay focused. What's your game?"

'You were the last person I expected to fall down on the job, Trubshaw.'

"I was about your age when I, too, started having security concerns."

Working from home.

'Please prepare this memo about reducing the use of our photocopiers and give each of our staff a copy. Send them a second copy, as a reminder, in two weeks and send a third reminder the following week.'

Play Ball!

Much to the surprise of all his colleagues, Gavin concluded the lunchtime presentation on company expansion with a rather eccentric song and dance act.

"All staff are equal...but some are more equal than others!"