Office Oddities Aficionado Gifts

"Your job will be to furnish the office with fresh fish on a daily basis."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"And where have you previously moused?"

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

'Face it, we're never going to reach a consensus.'

'In the computer simulation he said he admired my candor and gave me a raise.'

Should not have put that suggestion in the suggestion box.'

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

...The computer says you can handle 20 more work

'She finally made employee of the month but she paid the ultimate price.'

'It's not fair. Women doing the same job I'm doing in this office are being paid more than I am!'

'We're very proud of you, Jenkins. Keep up the good work.'

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."

Batsford doesn't suffer fools gladly.

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

"Confounded spell checker... never catches anything."

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

'Hawaii can wait. These reports cannot.'

We have a nice selection of office artifacts, a typewriter, carbon paper, ashtrays, our CEO's last handwritten memo...

"Next on the agenda: How can we crush workers' spirit, while appearing to care?"

'I owe you an apology, Greffman -- Let's keep it that way.'

Corporate Whore.

'I have power - but it's not the kind that's easy to abuse.'