Office Antics Aficionado Gifts

'It's an adjunct of our legal Department.'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

Sign in an office: 'Think...but keep it clean!'

"Don't forget to torch the place when you leave."

"Oh, honey, have you tried talking to your boss?"

'Don't be fooled. They're not busy working. They're looking for where I hid the water cooler.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"And where have you previously moused?"

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

'Face it, we're never going to reach a consensus.'

'In the computer simulation he said he admired my candor and gave me a raise.'

Should not have put that suggestion in the suggestion box.'

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

...The computer says you can handle 20 more work

"Maybe our beloved founder is trying to tell us something."

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

'It's not fair. Women doing the same job I'm doing in this office are being paid more than I am!'

"Confounded spell checker... never catches anything."

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."

"What's your occupation?"

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

'We're very proud of you, Jenkins. Keep up the good work.'

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

Batsford doesn't suffer fools gladly.

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."

'She finally made employee of the month but she paid the ultimate price.'