Office Antics Aficionado Gifts

'It's an adjunct of our legal Department.'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

Sign in an office: 'Think...but keep it clean!'

"Don't forget to torch the place when you leave."

"Oh, honey, have you tried talking to your boss?"

'Don't be fooled. They're not busy working. They're looking for where I hid the water cooler.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"And where have you previously moused?"

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

'Face it, we're never going to reach a consensus.'

'In the computer simulation he said he admired my candor and gave me a raise.'

Should not have put that suggestion in the suggestion box.'

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

...The computer says you can handle 20 more work

'It's not fair. Women doing the same job I'm doing in this office are being paid more than I am!'

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."

'I knew this was a bad place to work when I saw that they call the company handbook 'the Owner's Manual.''

'We're very proud of you, Jenkins. Keep up the good work.'

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."

"What's your occupation?"

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

"Confounded spell checker... never catches anything."

Batsford doesn't suffer fools gladly.

'She finally made employee of the month but she paid the ultimate price.'

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

'Hawaii can wait. These reports cannot.'

We have a nice selection of office artifacts, a typewriter, carbon paper, ashtrays, our CEO's last handwritten memo...