Workplace Antics Enthusiast Gifts

"One thing about Lou, he makes great eye contact."

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

"They found a use for that old paper shredder."

'If you have nothing to do don't come round here and do it.'

'I don't know what he does, but I'm afraid to ask.'

Gary misread the new policy on 'Free Thinking' in the work place.

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."

'Gerald, it's so nice to see you finally getting closer to your employees.'

"What's your occupation?"

Indecision and Outrage Trays

"Oh, I can be dependable, and for another £200 a week, I can be productive too."

'I fetch, but it hasn't helped my career any.'

Earl suspends his disbelief.

"Okay, like, the good news is we can pay Paul. The bad news is we gotta rob Peter."

"Every day is Monday." "Except Friday."

"Oh yes, we expect to replace you very soon. After all, the qualifications for the job aren't much."

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

'I wouldn't worry about the retirement plan. You'd have to be out of your mind to work here that long.'

'This is going to be good, he's taking water balloons into the board meeting.'

While you were out... the whole office talked about you.

'Surely you can manage on your salary!'

'I don't know what he's doing or why he's doing it, but by golly, I love his work ethic.'

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'

"You may ask your questions only when I call your name. Don't waste my time with chit-chat. I don't have all day. Got that?"

"He worked his way up from the mail room...from licking stamps to kissing butt."

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

Office zombie.

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

'The boss said things have to improve or my job is going to run out of minutes.'

'You've become run down from working too much. Try sneezing on your boss.'

"Why do we keep trying?""Because we need purpose..."