Workplace Antics Gifts

'...How can I trust you to handle multimillion-dollar accounts if you can't even spin a basketball on your fingertip?'

Sleeping at the computer.

"Did she tell you she was leaving work early?"

"This is the software for my head."

"What's this, Kimble? You said you were a mover and shaker!"

'I've got to go, Alice, you know how the boss frowns on personal calls.'

Warning: Eating this food could result in a decrease of health benefits

"'Work' is a magic word around here."

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

"I don't know what's worse - a finger pointer or a finger puller."

Fun at the Office # 729: MEMO FANATICS IN THE HALL

'I don't know what he's doing or why he's doing it, but by golly, I love his work ethic.'

'The Botox will help me to kiss up to the Boss.'

'I thought I'd copy my C.V. while the boss is out of the office!'

I'm sorry. I can't find him. I've looked in all the usual hiding places.

'I'm not late. I didn't want to come in at all.'

Frannie tries to look nonchalant as the copier erupts.

'What have I told you about gambolling at work, Lambton?'

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

'I had a problem with your expense account however, since we've accomplished so much work over lunch - I've eliminated your salary for this week!'

'This is your best excuse for not coming to work so far, Koslowski, but you'll be sorry if you're shamming again!'

"Darling - phone in and tell sourpuss I'm taking a sickie."

'Very good job! I would like to show my appreciation in a practical way...Hip,hip hooray!'

"Just great...on my first day on the job."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."