Office Antics Appreciator Gifts

'Since your last idea really bombed, Mr Henderson, you won't be recieving one of those little 'idea pads'.'

"Let me through! I'm a businessperson!"

A colleague for Miss Brass

"Yes, you are calling at a bad time. I'm off meds."

people standing in a briefcase.

Secretary

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'Now that you've moved in and unpacked, Higgins, we'd like you to start thinking outside of the box.'

'I knew this was a bad place to work when I saw that they call the company handbook 'the Owner's Manual.''

"What's your occupation?"

"Well, let's quickly put Ken's incredibly incendiary remarks behind us and hopefully continue the discussion in a simmering rage."

"Looks like our days at the think tank are numbered."

Research and Development: Now, Never.

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

'Hey! I sad, 'You've got mail!''

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."

'JB, TS is waiting to see you and GR has just arrived.'

'Boss, it seems like a friendly text, but you've got to learn to read between the emoticons.'

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

Dog to hirer: 'I'm a mongrel, and I'll work like one.'

"Okay, like, the good news is we can pay Paul. The bad news is we gotta rob Peter."

'This is going to be good, he's taking water balloons into the board meeting.'

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

"Look, I can still fit into the suit I wore during the last paradigm shift."

"He worked his way up from the mail room...from licking stamps to kissing butt."

"I have to be honest: the job you're applying for is a real no-brainer. Are you sure you're OK with that?"

'Being taller than me will get you nowhere.'

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

'See Dick sleep on job. See Dick get fired.'

Office Competitions

We only have two things to fear - fear itself and someone getting a look at our books.

'I'm happy to report our use of air sickness bags has declined sharply since we quit serving meals.'