Office Antics Admirer Gifts

"Gotta admit, the new guy's more fun than Ted was."

'Does this mean no more company car?'

"He worked his way up from the mail room...from licking stamps to kissing butt."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"What's your occupation?"

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."

'I knew this was a bad place to work when I saw that they call the company handbook 'the Owner's Manual.''

'Now that you've moved in and unpacked, Higgins, we'd like you to start thinking outside of the box.'

'JB, TS is waiting to see you and GR has just arrived.'

"Okay, like, the good news is we can pay Paul. The bad news is we gotta rob Peter."

'This is going to be good, he's taking water balloons into the board meeting.'

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

'See Dick sleep on job. See Dick get fired.'

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'

Office Competitions

"Your wife's on the phone...."

"I think it's time I told you my little secret, Miss Bigelow!"

"It's the terrifying story of a publisher brutally murdered by an author who had his book rejected."

That's a great suggestion, Harris, unfortunately I'm not open to suggestions right now.

Secretary

"He put the 'fun' in funding."

"He seized the day again. Now how do we get it back?"

Out and In.

"The corporate limo was downsized!"

'Well, that's a helluva great business plan... What have you done before you founded a management consultancy, Mr... umh... Smith?'

"The question is, what will it take to get you to work for us for half of what you're asking?"

"Don't forget to torch the place when you leave."

"To paraphrase the late President Kennedy, Smithson: Ask not what Consol

"Phelps, I hope I'm not insulting you when I say you're an incompetent nincompoop."

"Here's a juicy bit of gossip for you!"

Office block moving to the suburbs.

"We want you to be passionage about your job even if it sucks the life out of you."