Nut-cracking Enthusiast T-Shirts

'He's a lousy CEO, but you should see him open a walnut.'

Tartine

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Rage.

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Don’t worry, this guy is totally cool. Just don’t mention the Red Baron."

'A wheel? No wonder I broke a tooth. I thought it was a donut.'

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

Love is when you watch television together.

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'Look at that! Peanuts!'

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

How The Sausage Is Eaten

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

Medical Marijuana Dispensary / Medical Cheez Doodles Dispensary

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

Sheltering in place.

"Goal!"

Back in 5 minutes!

Come on Darling: Surely, you don't need a sledgehammer to crack a nut...

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

'You do realise that's pot pourii?'

"He's an indoor cat."

You are what you eat!