Nut-cracking Enthusiast Gifts

'He's a lousy CEO, but you should see him open a walnut.'

Tartine

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Rage.

"Don’t worry, this guy is totally cool. Just don’t mention the Red Baron."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

'A wheel? No wonder I broke a tooth. I thought it was a donut.'

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

Love is when you watch television together.

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'Look at that! Peanuts!'

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

Medical Marijuana Dispensary / Medical Cheez Doodles Dispensary

'You do realise that's pot pourii?'

Come on Darling: Surely, you don't need a sledgehammer to crack a nut...

Sheltering in place.

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

"Goal!"

Back in 5 minutes!

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

"He's an indoor cat."

You are what you eat!