Nut Cracker Connoisseur T-Shirts

Come on Darling: Surely, you don't need a sledgehammer to crack a nut...

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"Trail mix?"

'Look at that! Peanuts!'

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

You are what you eat!

You are what you eat (Nuts).

Future Wrestler

'So, that's how squirrels find their buried food?'

'You reek of crackers.'

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

'A nutcracker? Admit it, Fred, you're getting old.'

"Serves you right...snacking before dinner."

"You're just a shell of your former self. You need to improve your diet."

"Nowadays, it's all about who you know, not what you know."

'Dear father for what I am about to receive I give thee thanks.'

Nutcracker Desk Organizers

'Sticky nuts...' "Umm nice nuts but not as sticky as us buns!!"

"Looks like you forgot to pack your lunch again Bob!"

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

'Ironically, sportswear is the most comfortable clothing for doing nothing in.'

"Maybe I've been brainwashed, but at this point I do believe I actually want a goddamn cracker."

'Son, life is a mixed blessing, they eat the fancy nuts and toss us the peanuts.'

Mouse King

'Organically-grown popcorn? Give me a break!'

"We're out of empanadas!"

Eat More Salted Nuts