Cracker Connoisseur T-Shirts

'Loook, lady, my name is Frank, not Polly, and I don't want no stinkin' cracker!'

'You reek of crackers.'

'Maybe we should switch to low carb crackers?!' - Fat parrot wants a cracker.

"Maybe I've been brainwashed, but at this point I do believe I actually want a goddamn cracker."

"Obviously, if the only thing you keep on repeating is "Polly wants a cracker", you're bound to put on weight..."

Elderly couple fall backwards as they explode a christmas cracker.

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

"I don't remember buying 200 shares of acme crackers?"

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

'Dear father for what I am about to receive I give thee thanks.'

"I'm really not sure what Master actually wants, but if we repeat the weird sounds he's making, we'll get crackers..."

"Someone order 200 kilos of crackers?"

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

Bubbly

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

Cake Free Zone

"Trail mix?"

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

His Her Cakes

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

"Joel! Killer crust!"

Baking

Mouse living in a wedding cake.

'Guess what I've got for lunch today...a piece of my wife's delicious rum cake.'

"An untested recipe. An uncalibrated oven. Substituted ingredients. And yet, the cake...the cake is...magnificent!"

'Mom's baking finally allowed us to diversify and greatly increase our neighborhood market share.'

Come on Darling: Surely, you don't need a sledgehammer to crack a nut...

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.