'Loook, lady, my name is Frank, not Polly, and I don't want no stinkin' cracker!'
Cracker Connoisseur Gifts
Looking for a gift for your cracker connoisseur? Our collection combines humor and style, featuring designs that speak to the snack lover in all of us. Whether for someone who appreciates luxury crackers or enjoys the simple pleasure of a good crunch, these items make a tasty statement. Explore our mugs, t-shirts, pillows, and art prints that celebrate the joy of cracker appreciation with a humorous twist and charming design.
'You reek of crackers.'
'Maybe we should switch to low carb crackers?!' - Fat parrot wants a cracker.
Believe it or not, I was always so turned off by that whole condescending "Polly want a cracker?" thing that I never actually tried one. Are they good? !!!
"Maybe I've been brainwashed, but at this point I do believe I actually want a goddamn cracker."
"Obviously, if the only thing you keep on repeating is "Polly wants a cracker", you're bound to put on weight..."
Elderly couple fall backwards as they explode a christmas cracker.
'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'
"I don't remember buying 200 shares of acme crackers?"
'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'
'Dear father for what I am about to receive I give thee thanks.'
"I'm really not sure what Master actually wants, but if we repeat the weird sounds he's making, we'll get crackers..."
"Someone order 200 kilos of crackers?"
'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'
Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.
"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"
"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."
Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.
Bubbly
"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."
"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"
"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."
Cake Free Zone
"Trail mix?"
His Her Cakes
'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'
'Guess what I've got for lunch today...a piece of my wife's delicious rum cake.'
Mouse living in a wedding cake.
"An untested recipe. An uncalibrated oven. Substituted ingredients. And yet, the cake...the cake is...magnificent!"
See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."
Baking
"Joel! Killer crust!"
"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"
'Mom's baking finally allowed us to diversify and greatly increase our neighborhood market share.'
The real reason why flamingos are pink
Cracker Connoisseur Gifts Collection
Cracker Connoisseur Mugs
Discover more cracker connoisseur-themed mugs that add flavor and fun to your morning routine or gift-giving moments.
Cracker Connoisseur Pillows
Find cozy pillows that speak to snack lovers, blending humor and style to brighten up any space with a cracker-themed touch.
Cracker Connoisseur Prints
Decorate with our cracker connoisseur prints, adding a fun, artistic twist to your kitchen or snack nook that celebrates your favorite pastime.
Cracker Connoisseur T-Shirts
Explore our range of cracker connoisseur t-shirts, perfect for snacking enthusiasts who want to wear their passion with a wink.