Crust Connoisseur Gifts

"Joel! Killer crust!"

The Niche Economy

Baker

Crusty Bread

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

The Main Types of Cheese

Cheese

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

The Running of the Brie

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

"Just toot my horn and I'll be there."

Rejoice! It's time to celebrate the baby cheeses!

"Of course I love you more than cheese. What a silly question. In fact, cheese and I are just friends. Nothing's going on between cheese and me."

Great moments in 'Haute Cuisine'. . . America gives the world the Donut Sandwich.

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

Cereal Tasting.

Somewhere in France

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

"Can you keep a secret?"

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'You reek of crackers.'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'Has someone cut the cheese?'

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

"Cheese is just a substitute for the love you've never given me."

"Summer's here. Do you want to start talking incessantly about tomatoes or corn?"

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

Still hemorrhaging; NBC cancels "The Cheeseheads"

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

"Looks like you forgot to pack your lunch again Bob!"

1% Cereal: Now with marshmallow dollar signs.

"Maybe I've been brainwashed, but at this point I do believe I actually want a goddamn cracker."

'Dear father for what I am about to receive I give thee thanks.'