Rust Connoisseur Gifts

'What are those brown marks?' - 'The original rust.'

"Joel! Killer crust!"

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Dyslexic Cattle Ranch

'You reek of crackers.'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

Man frozen in portrait pose.

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

"I'll wear any kind of dirt, but I prefer a rich loam with lots of humus."

Moliere

"You've opened my eyes to the most disgusting worldly delights."

"Maybe I've been brainwashed, but at this point I do believe I actually want a goddamn cracker."

Beer Lunch

Charles Dickens.

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

Bleak House

'Dear father for what I am about to receive I give thee thanks.'

'They must have really listened to their mothers about chewing their food.'

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

3 Bottle Banks - Clear, coloured and rum bottles.

Baker

'Cows have bellies because their horns don't work.'

Cattle farmer's super-market

"Y formerly Department of Government Efficiency"

'The U.S. of A. - Guarantor for freedom, humanity and democracy!'

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

Stealth grazing.

"Might I recommend the cud?"

Crusty Bread

'You seem to be suffering from frontier mentality...'