Crumb Connoisseur Gifts

"The presentation is dreadful."

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

"Joel! Killer crust!"

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

Cupcake Excitement Scale

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

Cereal Tasting.

"I'm retaining doughnuts."

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

"Can you keep a secret?"

'You reek of crackers.'

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

"What does she have that I don't?"

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

"Summer's here. Do you want to start talking incessantly about tomatoes or corn?"

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

Jar wars

"Maybe I've been brainwashed, but at this point I do believe I actually want a goddamn cracker."

1% Cereal: Now with marshmallow dollar signs.

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

"Careful it's hot." (Colour)

'Dear father for what I am about to receive I give thee thanks.'

'Can't we have something other than curry for a change?'

sports bar buffet : Hotdogs/pizza/Corn-on-the-Ty Cobb

"It turns out my milk is actually aging cream...so, I use it to remove all those ugly age spots."

That night, Neil Thomas declared himself the poet laureate of 1973 Sheffield Lane.

"Buckle up. We're in the midst of an unprecedented breadcrumb recession."

*Not suitable for those with an allergy to consciousness expansion

" 'Chicken Vindaloo for the Hindu Soul' is but the tip of the iceberg in our initial strategy of global expansion."