Crutch Connoisseur Gifts

'Then it's agreed, three months from today, we meet here and step outside.'

"Joel! Killer crust!"

'Time to buy.'

Ladies reading a crochet pattern for amusement

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."

'The new intelligent dummies aren't working out. They've figured out there's a break!'

Baker

Spot the Higgs Boson competition

Crusty Bread

'That explains why I have so much trouble parallel parking.'

"How do you connect it to the wi-fi?"

Chiropractic concerns

Fashion world.

"And this was before you plumped the cushions, or after?"

'Hay Boats on the Thames'

"You've had a job for more than a year...and you have no money?"

"Don't forget to put the bin out, Dear."

"All you are is a pedal and a cable which helps me change gear. One day, you'll break and be useless."

Gadzooks, will the light never change?

"The presentation is dreadful."

'What are those brown marks?' - 'The original rust.'

And you thought exhaust problems were bad today.

"Where did you say you got your scatter cushions from?"

Bandaged Mummy

Chip Magnet

'Your horse seems a little impatient, sir! Pray go first!'

"It all began with wanting matching shoes and purse..."

How different foods crunch.

Narrow Load.

'I think I've isolated where that scraping noise you've been having is coming from.'

"I swing both ways."

'Too much cargo in my pants.'