Clutch Connoisseur Gifts

"All you are is a pedal and a cable which helps me change gear. One day, you'll break and be useless."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

"Joel! Killer crust!"

"No party - it's for testing the atom smasher."

'Time to buy.'

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

I want a car that says 'I've arrived' but didn't use too much gas getting there.

'I like to wear women's collars.'

The Hybrid

'The new intelligent dummies aren't working out. They've figured out there's a break!'

Baker

Spot the Higgs Boson competition

"I want one that's going to fall apart. . ."

Crusty Bread

"How do you connect it to the wi-fi?"

2020 Panic Room

"Wait! Do you think the quick release bolts are a good idea?"

Chiropractic concerns

"And this was before you plumped the cushions, or after?"

'Hey, you should be thanking us for improving your cluster-to-leaf balance.'

Swell who has called a police officer to pick up his umbrella rather than bend and disturb his collar

"Honest dear, those other 39 hens don't mean a thing to me!"

"Your car is always in the shop because it has a problem with its auto immune system."

'You've slept with your new car every night for a week. When's the newness wear off!'

"We call it that because Pastor Dave is always aware of kick-off time."

Football anagrams: Honest John's (Answer: Seth Johnson.)

Speeding in a video game

'That's eleven..!!' ( 10 items or less counter ).

The Government car-share scheme gains wide support!

'That was your grandfather -- his catapult went off while he was cleaning it.'

"You know how it is. Some days you like to drive,some days you like to be driven."

'These baboons from the local safari park claim they can get us any car part we want for a price.'

'What are those brown marks?' - 'The original rust.'

And you thought exhaust problems were bad today.

"Where did you say you got your scatter cushions from?"