Collar Connoisseur Gifts

Swell who has called a police officer to pick up his umbrella rather than bend and disturb his collar

'I like to wear women's collars.'

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

'Mom, don't you understand? Those collars are symbols of subservience and repression!'

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

'Anorak anoraks'.

Curling your hair for no reason

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

Magic coat fixing problems while walking the dog.

"I hope he's wearing pants."

Woman Curls Her Dog.

"If Marcus Aurelius himself were standing here today, I'm sure he would agree this suit reflects perfectly your stoic sensibilities."

'He wears a necktie like he means it.'

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

Great Moments in Art History: 1898 Francis Barraud finds inspiration after having his dog spayed.

'Same problem every morning. What to wear..?'

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

A tailor measuring a jacket.

'How does this one feel?'

'Hoo boy, yes! B-o-o-o-ring!!'

Young man standing with hands in pockets because it is the fashion at his college

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

"Fill it up!"

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

"Hey dude, when I said curls might help, that's not what I meant."

'Now we come to what it would have been worth'

Welcome to my cellar!

"We are looking for the non-yucky apparel."

'I've got a question. If your answer is 'Yes', I'll hate you. If your answer is 'No', I'll hate you, too. The question is, do you think I need a new dress because I'm looking fat in this one?'

"If your tie's too big I can always take it back."

"...And when the world economy collapses, we all stand up and take over! Agreed?"

The Priceless Ming Vase Relays.

"It depends on what attitude you wish to convey. This, for example, is part of our 'contempt' line."