Cruller Connoisseur Gifts

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Curling your hair for no reason

'You reek of crackers.'

Man frozen in portrait pose.

'I like to wear women's collars.'

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

Woman Curls Her Dog.

Moliere

'Dear father for what I am about to receive I give thee thanks.'

Charles Dickens.

Bleak House

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"Maybe I've been brainwashed, but at this point I do believe I actually want a goddamn cracker."

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

"It's less of a spell than it is a signature scent."

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

Spot the Higgs Boson competition

'Of course it's lite. I wouldn't make it if it wasn't lite.'

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

"I love the way next door never tidy their garden - it's the perfect source of blackberries for our apple crumble."

"Hey dude, when I said curls might help, that's not what I meant."

'Your baseball card has more value than you do.'

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

'That explains why I have so much trouble parallel parking.'

Witch making a brew with Gluten, Nuts, Trans Fats, BGH, GMOs...

Regular/Organic Cauldrons.

Sergei Rachmaninov

When feud becomes best seller! Moby Dick vs Herman Melville!

Fashion world.

MasterWitch

'Hepzibah, I'm getting out There's just no money in being a witch.'