Roast Connoisseur Gifts

Counting ribs

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

Toast: the high energy food

"Joel! Killer crust!"

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

"Regular service or affected?"

"Can you keep a secret?"

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

'You can't have a drumstick because this is roast beef.'

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

"To help illustrate our sales plan I have created a pie chart."

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"A little lamb please."

"Summer's here. Do you want to start talking incessantly about tomatoes or corn?"

"I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman but, hang on a minute, I'm pretty sure I have the heart and stomach of a king, too..."

The Pooperrazzi

Faux Poop!

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

'Mr. Whipple, what other qualifications do you have - apart from your quite excellent Donald Duck impression?'

"Looks like you forgot to pack your lunch again Bob!"

'I can't work out why I keep getting these blinding headaches!'

'We've had a couple of requests for an academic brouhaha, so we'll be preparing one of those today.'

"You'd think over the years one or two of them would catch on."