Roast Enthusiast Gifts

Non-Celebrity Roast

'Did you remember to stuff the chicken?' 'I didn't have to. It was full already.'

'Stand by, we have temporary loss of your roast.'

'Sorry but my disposable income is tied up in a roast in the oven.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Domestic Goddess.

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

"You're worried about salmonella? We're vultures for cripes sake!"

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

Important Food Groups

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

Italia tours

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

Doughboy Dad

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

'Another neat trick is to cut regular spaghetti into little pieces, and next thing you know you've got yourself a bowl of spaghetti-i-s.'

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

Country farmhouse loaf / Inner city highrise loaf.

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

There! I've made my year's supply of zucchini bread! That's kind of a lot. How can you store them all? It's no problem. I just throw out last year's supply.

A marshmallow? Oh, no, thank you, I'm good.

You're the sizzle in my roast!

Corner Bakery ... Bread and Breakfast.

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

"I say we move on to dessert."

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

A Creature WAS Stirring

'I don't know how much more of this I can take!'

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

Doctor's Office. He put me on a pasta diet -- He says I've been off my noodle long enough.

You'll be a manicotti soon enough, son - Just enjoy being a mostaccioli while it lasts.

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

Old Phones Lasagne

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat