Cracker Lovers T-Shirts

Cracker nice, but Polly want more.

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Bowled over again!

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

Love is when you watch television together.

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

"You were right, I didn't want to stop."

"The bagels are better in New York."

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

"Maybe I'm aiming too high...maybe 'saving for a cool car' is too hard."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"Wait, has thou brought snacks?"

Come on Darling: Surely, you don't need a sledgehammer to crack a nut...

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

Stupid Microwave

Boy whistling at crackers.

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

'Him' Watching the Game to Relax

Easter Candy Island.