Nursing Narratives Enthusiast Gifts

'This get well card is from the nurses you have been complaining about.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

"I have to get up for mine 3 or 4 times a night!"

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

"Which one goes down his bronchial tract and which one goes up his arse?"

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

"Tell us again — a little less graphic."

Toni Morrison

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

Guy on island sees giant ship in bottle.

"Well, if you don’t want to discuss exposure, drowning or sharks, what do you want to talk about?"

'How am I ever going to be able to practice my first aid if you insist on using an electric razor?'

Some people have their own methods of dealing with a shortage of nurses

"You know, it's a picture book. Needless to say, it doesn't have a lot of narrative scope."

'Read me the one about the three homeless little pigs.'

"I love my unreliable narrator. You?"

Great literary festival heckles.

Solemn reference is made to Mr. Bunsby

Florence Nightingale

"I'd like to request a transfer from the children's ward."

"Your life's story lacks a protagonist."

Unreliable Narrator

'Congratulations, it's a boy!'

'Death doesn't frighten me, but the night nurse does...'

'Spinach: The Prequel'

"Relax. You're a famous author - no one expects you to talk about anything other than yourself."

'Bad case of credit crunch, I'm afraid. . . So we'll have to slowly introduce you to a diet of cash.'

"The key to a good story is to give the protagonist lots of challenges."

"Have you considered writing this story in the third monkey rather than the first monkey?"