Nursery Narrative Fan Gifts

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

'Listen up, Baskerville! This is MacDonald! Those hounds of yours are scaring the E-I-E-I-O out of my animals!'

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

If you're happy and you know it...

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

"There's only the four of us. I hope you like doo-wop."

"Where's your nose?"

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

'I'm sorry but my little boy, Jack, ruined them all today.'

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

Elementary problem of aeronautics... Putting a cow over the moon.

'My name is Mrs. Horner. My son Jackie stuck his thumb into a hot pie and burned it.'

'Ever thought of having the place re-carpeted?'

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

"I have to get up for mine 3 or 4 times a night!"

1688: Pirate Dentistry - "Say ARR!"

The Old Woman was thrilled to bits with her shoestring budget makeover!!

"Dear Diary: Today I picked a peck of pickled peppers."

"...and furthermore that said housewife violated both the animal cruelty statute as well as the disability act when she willfully cut off the tails of three visually impaired rodents."

'I'm just here on a lay-over.'

Humpty Dumpty on Wall Street.

"Yes your Majesty, ALL of your horses and ALL of your men. It's a long shot, but it might just work."

'Is that why our games of hide and seek are over so quickly?'