Nursery Narrative Fan Gifts

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

'Listen up, Baskerville! This is MacDonald! Those hounds of yours are scaring the E-I-E-I-O out of my animals!'

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

If you're happy and you know it...

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

"I told you not to invite that guy!"

"I now pronounce you a partial place setting."

Batman's Baby

"There's only the four of us. I hope you like doo-wop."

"Where's your nose?"

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

"I have to get up for mine 3 or 4 times a night!"

Elementary problem of aeronautics... Putting a cow over the moon.

'I'm sorry but my little boy, Jack, ruined them all today.'

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

'My name is Mrs. Horner. My son Jackie stuck his thumb into a hot pie and burned it.'

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

'Ever thought of having the place re-carpeted?'

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

1688: Pirate Dentistry - "Say ARR!"

'I'm just here on a lay-over.'

'There's no mention of stuffing. Keep going until you get to the sugar and spice.'

"Dear Diary: Today I picked a peck of pickled peppers."

"...and furthermore that said housewife violated both the animal cruelty statute as well as the disability act when she willfully cut off the tails of three visually impaired rodents."

The Old Woman was thrilled to bits with her shoestring budget makeover!!

"I realise that it shows a lack of maturity .. But I like baby talk."

Humpty Dumpty on Wall Street.

'When I grow up, I want to be an astronaut and go to the moon: It's made of cheese you know!'