Nursery Rhyme Fan Gifts

'Never mind all the King's horses and all the King's men. Get me 'personal injuries direct'!'

'Your policy does cover wind damage, but not from huffing and puffing.'

'I've become a victim of my own success. I'm starting to crack myself up.'

Personal injury claims...

'Ok, interns, this elderly female presents with symptoms stemming from drosophila ingestion. Thoughts? Prognosis?'

The grand old duke of york's cartographers.

'... And of course, there are the conspiracy theorists who say that it was all a big hoax and I didn't jump over it at all.'

'...Do the Hokey-Pokey and turn yourselves around...'

Jack & Jill, a success story: Jack & Jill spring water.

Old MacDonald is a having a hard time urbanizing.

"I believe my house may have stepped in something."

'How much is the cute brown one in the window?'

'When I grow up, I want to be an astronaut and go to the moon: It's made of cheese you know!'

"He always was a little off the wall."

'Don't try to stop us Lady...We don't care about the dangers...we're going up that hill to fetch a pail of water!'

'Tonight - music from cat, acrobatics from cow, comedy from me - we have a great show for you - don't run away!'

'We're out of blackbirds -- how about four-and-twenty hamburgers?'

All the Kings horses and all the Kings Men frying Humpty Dumpty.

'I'm so confused, On the outside I'm a regular guy, but on the inside, I'm a chick,'

'Another hopeless crack addict!'

'I don't know, son. I suppose the three little kittens and the three little pigs drew straws.'

'The recipe calls for snips and snails and puppy-dogs' tails. Check his 'Best If Used By' date.'

'Sorry, no one turned in any sheep today.'

Mary had a little lamb. And some mashed potatoes.

Grand Old Duke Of York.

'Oi! - Are you lookin' at my curd!?!'

'If there's reincarnation, I hope he comes back as a panda!'

'Well, so much for sugar and spice!'

'Ever thought of having the place re-carpeted?'

Mother Hubbard 2011

"But Humpty, I need to go back to college! We've had a great summer together. Now you go and have a great fall."

"Hello Tasty-Cake-Mix company, are you still paying a finders fee?"

Old MacDonald's Fat Farm

"We're egging Old MacDonald's house tonight. Pass it on."

Humpty's girl on Easter...