Nursery Rhyme Fanatic Gifts

' Forget it lads.I've just checked his notes,and he's not for resuscitation.'

'I'm sorry Mary, you know the rules.'

'More bad news I'm afraid, Humpty... you're not entitled to incapacity benefit.'

Humpty-Dumpty the ten-part series

Wonderland. Old King Cole is putting together a new administration. Humpty Dumpty will be Secretary of the Fence. The cow who jumped over the moon will be Secretary of Steak, and the Little Mermaid will be Sturgeon General. Any one of the dwarfs could be Labor Secretary. It's off to work we go .... They're certainly on the short list!

'I fell down and broke my crown.'

'Not another copycat accident?!?! That bloody nursery rhyme's got a lot to answer for.'

'He just loves the hokey-pokey, doesn't he?'

...You frightened her so you eat the curds and whey!

'Mrs Dumpty, Humpty's up on the wall again.'

Humpty Dumpty

"I'm sorry, but I made a big mistake by running off with you. I'm really in love with the fork."

"You think you get media attention when you win a race? That's nothing! Ever since my wife jumped over the Moon, my house has been surrounded by paparazzi!"

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

'Are you made of sugar?'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

The Hey Diddle Diddle Orchestra

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

"Well, that one got away."

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

'Listen up, Baskerville! This is MacDonald! Those hounds of yours are scaring the E-I-E-I-O out of my animals!'

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

Humpty Dumpty goes bungee jumping.

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'