Nursery Rhyme Enthusiast Gifts

"Son, your mother is a remarkable woman."

Humpty Dumpty sat on a Wall Street

"He may have found his mittens, but he's lost all sense of propriety."

Old MacDonald had a startup.

A Nursery Rhyme From The American Psychiatric Society

'Stop complaining that we never go anywhere. You knew I was the little piggy who stayed home when you married me.'

"Once, I tried to change the laces, and the Landmarks Commission came down on me like a ton of bricks."

'Sorry kids, we're downsizing to a flip-flop!'

"Actually, I already knew where that little piggy went."

Physiotherapist tells Humpty Dumpty: 'OK, you've had a great fall, but we'll have you back on that wall in no time.'

'This is going to be the best day ever!'

Old MacDonald Had An Optometrist

'It says right here, Mr. Dumpty, may cause dizziness and affect balance.'

"My self-esteem was so low I just followed her around everywhere she would go."

'In the case of the King vs All of His men I'm declaring a mistrial because of a possible bias by the jury.'

They say history repeats itself, and this time, they were ready. . .

Humpty Dumpty Travel Agency.

'The roof needs icing.'

The Humpty Syndrome: 'Hmm...Up until now, I never had the urge to sit on a wall...'

'Loose mortar, no warning signs - Mr Dumpty, you are a victim of gross negligence.'

Census

....Third Little Pig was outbid.

The Itsy-Bitsy Motivational Spider,

'So, this Humpty Dumpty guy falls off the wall and I think, dang, what a waste!'

Humpty Dumpty! Put on this helmet.

"She cut off his what with a carving knife?"

'Bridges falling down, killer pumpkin eaters...'

'Jack fell down and broke his crown.'

Humpty Dumpty replaced by egg substitute.

'Your father should have stayed working nights.'

"The HOA is bustin' my chops about my paint colors!"

'Outside of athlete's foot, ingrown toenails,fallen arches and bunions, I've never felt better.'

'Something in brick.'

"Only then, did all the king's horses and all the king's men regret not taking a first aid course of some kind."

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'