Nursery Rhyme Enthusiast Pillows

"Son, your mother is a remarkable woman."

"He may have found his mittens, but he's lost all sense of propriety."

Humpty Dumpty sat on a Wall Street

Old MacDonald had a startup.

"Once, I tried to change the laces, and the Landmarks Commission came down on me like a ton of bricks."

A Nursery Rhyme From The American Psychiatric Society

'Stop complaining that we never go anywhere. You knew I was the little piggy who stayed home when you married me.'

"Actually, I already knew where that little piggy went."

'Sorry kids, we're downsizing to a flip-flop!'

Physiotherapist tells Humpty Dumpty: 'OK, you've had a great fall, but we'll have you back on that wall in no time.'

Old MacDonald Had An Optometrist

'It says right here, Mr. Dumpty, may cause dizziness and affect balance.'

"My self-esteem was so low I just followed her around everywhere she would go."

'In the case of the King vs All of His men I'm declaring a mistrial because of a possible bias by the jury.'

They say history repeats itself, and this time, they were ready. . .

'Loose mortar, no warning signs - Mr Dumpty, you are a victim of gross negligence.'

The Humpty Syndrome: 'Hmm...Up until now, I never had the urge to sit on a wall...'

Census

'The roof needs icing.'

....Third Little Pig was outbid.

The Itsy-Bitsy Motivational Spider,

Humpty Dumpty! Put on this helmet.

'So, this Humpty Dumpty guy falls off the wall and I think, dang, what a waste!'

'Jack fell down and broke his crown.'

"She cut off his what with a carving knife?"

Humpty Dumpty replaced by egg substitute.

'Bridges falling down, killer pumpkin eaters...'

'Something in brick.'

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

"The HOA is bustin' my chops about my paint colors!"

'Bridges falling down, killer pumpkin eaters, blind mice with carving knives... I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!'

"Only then, did all the king's horses and all the king's men regret not taking a first aid course of some kind."

'Outside of athlete's foot, ingrown toenails,fallen arches and bunions, I've never felt better.'

"I chose style over comfort."

King's horses and King's men try to put humpty jigsaw puzzle back together.