Nursery Narrative Enthusiast Gifts

"I realise that it shows a lack of maturity .. But I like baby talk."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

'Are you made of sugar?'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

The Hey Diddle Diddle Orchestra

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

"Well, that one got away."

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

'Listen up, Baskerville! This is MacDonald! Those hounds of yours are scaring the E-I-E-I-O out of my animals!'

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

Humpty Dumpty goes bungee jumping.

Rockabye Baby- $10/hour.

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

"It's a cow thing. You wouldn't understand."

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

If you're happy and you know it...

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

'And you're telling me this, why?'