Nursing Aficionado Gifts

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

Get well soon!

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

Healthy Patients Only

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

"Which one goes down his bronchial tract and which one goes up his arse?"

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

"We're going to run some tests: bloodwork, a cat-scan and the S.A.T.'s."

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

Pediatrics: Anatomy

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

"You call all this a side effect?"

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

'Two Aspirins'...'Brain Tumor'

'We're trying to use a team approach to medicine, but we're having trouble fitting everyone!'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'