Nursing Enthusiast Gifts

''AAAIIIGGGHHH'...So would that be a 'yes' to the question 'I believe my needs are understood'?'

Florence Nightingale

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

'Anybody here losing the will to live?'

'I refuse to be treated like a baby.'

'I'd say you have a perfect aptitude for nursing.'

Some people have their own methods of dealing with a shortage of nurses

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

"We'll have someone to help you as soon as we've recruited and trained them. Shouldn't be more than 5 or 6 years!"

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

Get well soon!

Healthy Patients Only

"Which one goes down his bronchial tract and which one goes up his arse?"

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

"You call all this a side effect?"

Mary Margaret, the best bar nun.

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

'We're trying to use a team approach to medicine, but we're having trouble fitting everyone!'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

Eye, ear, nose, throat & real estate investment trusts.

'There, we're up and running! Let the logging in begin. . .'