Nursing Enthusiast Gifts

''AAAIIIGGGHHH'...So would that be a 'yes' to the question 'I believe my needs are understood'?'

Florence Nightingale

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

'Anybody here losing the will to live?'

'I refuse to be treated like a baby.'

'I'd say you have a perfect aptitude for nursing.'

Some people have their own methods of dealing with a shortage of nurses

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

"We'll have someone to help you as soon as we've recruited and trained them. Shouldn't be more than 5 or 6 years!"

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

Get well soon!

Healthy Patients Only

"Which one goes down his bronchial tract and which one goes up his arse?"

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

"You call all this a side effect?"

Mary Margaret, the best bar nun.

'We're trying to use a team approach to medicine, but we're having trouble fitting everyone!'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

Drug vending machines at hospital.

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

'Thanks for inviting me to dinner - it's really great!'

'There, we're up and running! Let the logging in begin. . .'