Nursing Narrative Enthusiast Gifts

"I'd like to request a transfer from the children's ward."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

"I have to get up for mine 3 or 4 times a night!"

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

"Which one goes down his bronchial tract and which one goes up his arse?"

Toni Morrison

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

Guy on island sees giant ship in bottle.

"Tell us again — a little less graphic."

"Well, if you don’t want to discuss exposure, drowning or sharks, what do you want to talk about?"

'How am I ever going to be able to practice my first aid if you insist on using an electric razor?'

Some people have their own methods of dealing with a shortage of nurses

"You know, it's a picture book. Needless to say, it doesn't have a lot of narrative scope."

"If you ask me, you can't go wrong with this beautiful bouquet of marijuana."

'Read me the one about the three homeless little pigs.'

Solemn reference is made to Mr. Bunsby

Great literary festival heckles.

"I love my unreliable narrator. You?"

'This get well card is from the nurses you have been complaining about.'

Florence Nightingale

'Congratulations, it's a boy!'

"Your life's story lacks a protagonist."

Unreliable Narrator

'Death doesn't frighten me, but the night nurse does...'

'Bad case of credit crunch, I'm afraid. . . So we'll have to slowly introduce you to a diet of cash.'

"Jack fell down and broke his crown, but he should be all right after extensive surgery."

"Relax. You're a famous author - no one expects you to talk about anything other than yourself."

'Spinach: The Prequel'