Nuptial Nervousnel Gifts

"How much worse?"

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

This is forever... till death do us part...

'Have you two taken the COSMO 'compatibility test'?'

'Do you Duane, paternity suit notwithstanding, take Diane...'

"Till death do us part? Hers or mine?"

'Wait a minute - This is getting too close for comfort.'

"You may now begin venting about each other's wedding-prep behavior."

Vicar tells bride, 'We can't go on meeting like this'.

'Nobody really agrees about what marriage is these days, so I'll just say 'Yadda yadda yadda.''

The wedding.

'Yes! I can tell you why these two shouldn't be married. They stole those outfits from my formal wear store!'

"I have to admit, that's the first time I'd ever heard the term 'tech support' incorporated into wedding vows."

'Surprised she's getting married again. In lieu of wedding gifts, she's asking for donations to help retain a divorce lawyer.'

'I do. Just don't let it go to your head.'

Always a pleasure to supply your wedding cakes, Mabel, the usual is it?

'Taking up knitting has been good therapy for you.'

'I'll take that as a 'yes.''

The Couple who bought complete services for twelve, including dinner plates, luncheon plates, salad plates, soup bowls. . . .Out of Wedlock

'... and to think this is the same kid who was terrified of getting a shot at the doctor.'

"Thanks but, 'you'll do' isn't a ringing endorsement of officiating your wedding."

'He does.'

"Hello, Linda — long time, no see."

A resume for tattoo artists.

Is it true that a maitre d' has the authority to marry people, just like the captain of a ship? ? ?

'Is it mine yet?'

'Do you, shoe online shop customer number 145583774, promise to love, honor and cherish electronic online shop customer number 9634217554...'

'Cool! Multiple choice.'

Carol was the first member of her skeet-shooting team to get married.

"Fidget spinners, bubble poppers... I'm old school. I just bite my nails."

Marriage Broker: Get married now...pay later.

"No, it's not meant to mean the same as community service."

Laying on a bed of needles.

It's hard not to be bitter the second time around.