Nuptial Navigators Gifts

"You may now begin venting about each other's wedding-prep behavior."

This is forever... till death do us part...

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

Marriage Broker: Get married now...pay later.

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

"OK, now what?"

'Keep pumping Mildred.'

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

'I didn't get the Owners Manual. I thought you got the Owners Manual.'

KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE AND YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER, 'That kind of thinking leads to marriage.'

My wife is the inspiration behind the light speed spaceship - the longer I'm married, the more I want to be the first human who lives on Mars.

'He's not the man I married. In fact, none of them are.'

'We blow hot and cold. He argues it's too hot and I say it's too cold.'

'I have rather a full schedule today. Could you summarize your grievances of the past 48 years?'

Cyber Fight

We should talk...

'Last week I got a lovely watch for my wife!'

'Everyone does divorces, Mrs.Dawson.'

"Honey, wake up! I just remembered something you did that annoyed the hell out of me!"

"You have superior extra ocular muscle strength - how often do you roll your eyes at your husband?"

"This is one of those things you should share before marriage."

'Disappointed? You ask if I'm disappointed? Well, Arthur, after 38 years of patiently peeling away one onion layer after another, I'll admit I HAD hoped there was something more that a tough, green sprout-thingie at your core!'

'Jeremy, why can't we talk instead of you bottling things up all the time?'

'Inform him I dislike it when he uses the dog to communicate.'

'It's another special interest call senator - your wife!'

'Our marriage is like a one-way street, and I'm behind him, honking my horn...'

"We have had a great year but we've also raised the bar for next year."

Lady vicar offering new bride a husband owner's manual.

The wedding.

"When we have fun, we really have fun."

"Are you trying to tell me something, dearest?"