Nuptials Navigator Gifts

Always a pleasure to supply your wedding cakes, Mabel, the usual is it?

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"Your contents have shifted."

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

Everyone agrees: Aunt Juanita needs a man.

This is forever... till death do us part...

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

'Have you two taken the COSMO 'compatibility test'?'

"OK, now what?"

'Keep pumping Mildred.'

Birthing Ball

Menopause and the City

"Of course I love you, I'm just busy with other men."

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

'He's not the man I married. In fact, none of them are.'

My wife is the inspiration behind the light speed spaceship - the longer I'm married, the more I want to be the first human who lives on Mars.

KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE AND YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER, 'That kind of thinking leads to marriage.'

'I have rather a full schedule today. Could you summarize your grievances of the past 48 years?'

Cyber Fight

Sadie, we need to see a couple's counselor. Yuck. No way! I won't spend a bunch of dough to have some halfwit tell me how to live my life! But I found an inexpensive counselor who will just listen to us talk through our issues. Counseling $10. This end up.

'Last week I got a lovely watch for my wife!'

'We blow hot and cold. He argues it's too hot and I say it's too cold.'

'Everyone does divorces, Mrs.Dawson.'

We should talk...

"You have superior extra ocular muscle strength - how often do you roll your eyes at your husband?"

"Honey, wake up! I just remembered something you did that annoyed the hell out of me!"

"I used to be innocent. Then I was naive. Now I'm just dumb."

"This is one of those things you should share before marriage."

'Disappointed? You ask if I'm disappointed? Well, Arthur, after 38 years of patiently peeling away one onion layer after another, I'll admit I HAD hoped there was something more that a tough, green sprout-thingie at your core!'

"We slipped in the tub."

'Jeremy, why can't we talk instead of you bottling things up all the time?'

'Inform him I dislike it when he uses the dog to communicate.'

Your Uncle Mort and Sadie are back from Canada. Are they still getting married? Yeah, but they're slowing things down. They're going to talk to someone about their problems. A counselor is always a good idea. They couldn't exactly afford a professional. He doesn't put the bathroom seat down.

"We have had a great year but we've also raised the bar for next year."