Nuptials Navigator Pillows

Always a pleasure to supply your wedding cakes, Mabel, the usual is it?

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"Your contents have shifted."

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

This is forever... till death do us part...

Everyone agrees: Aunt Juanita needs a man.

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

"OK, now what?"

'Keep pumping Mildred.'

"Of course I love you, I'm just busy with other men."

Birthing Ball

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE AND YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER, 'That kind of thinking leads to marriage.'

'He's not the man I married. In fact, none of them are.'

My wife is the inspiration behind the light speed spaceship - the longer I'm married, the more I want to be the first human who lives on Mars.

'We blow hot and cold. He argues it's too hot and I say it's too cold.'

Cyber Fight

'I have rather a full schedule today. Could you summarize your grievances of the past 48 years?'

We should talk...

'Everyone does divorces, Mrs.Dawson.'

'Last week I got a lovely watch for my wife!'

"You have superior extra ocular muscle strength - how often do you roll your eyes at your husband?"

"Honey, wake up! I just remembered something you did that annoyed the hell out of me!"

"I used to be innocent. Then I was naive. Now I'm just dumb."

"This is one of those things you should share before marriage."

'Disappointed? You ask if I'm disappointed? Well, Arthur, after 38 years of patiently peeling away one onion layer after another, I'll admit I HAD hoped there was something more that a tough, green sprout-thingie at your core!'

"We slipped in the tub."

'Inform him I dislike it when he uses the dog to communicate.'

'Jeremy, why can't we talk instead of you bottling things up all the time?'

"Are you trying to tell me something, dearest?"

"We have had a great year but we've also raised the bar for next year."