Nuptial Nervous Gifts

"Till death do us part? Hers or mine?"

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

This is forever... till death do us part...

'Have you two taken the COSMO 'compatibility test'?'

'Wait a minute - This is getting too close for comfort.'

"Actually, it's customary to say 'I do' to the groom, rather than text it."

''Love, honor, and obey'? -- I had something less structured in mind.'

The wedding.

'Nobody really agrees about what marriage is these days, so I'll just say 'Yadda yadda yadda.''

Vicar tells bride, 'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"You may now begin venting about each other's wedding-prep behavior."

"OK, but I'll have to run it by my husband."

'Do you promise to love,honor and cherish -- until one of you decides to become a 'free agent'?'

'One is the videographer and the other is my lawyer.'

'Surprised she's getting married again. In lieu of wedding gifts, she's asking for donations to help retain a divorce lawyer.'

"I have to admit, that's the first time I'd ever heard the term 'tech support' incorporated into wedding vows."

'Yes! I can tell you why these two shouldn't be married. They stole those outfits from my formal wear store!'

'I do. Just don't let it go to your head.'

Always a pleasure to supply your wedding cakes, Mabel, the usual is it?

"How much worse?"

''Forsaking all others'? - does that mean I have to turn my webcam off?'

'I'll take that as a 'yes.''

Is it true that a maitre d' has the authority to marry people, just like the captain of a ship? ? ?

"Hello, Linda — long time, no see."

'He does.'

'We are gathered here today to witness this merger...'

'Is it mine yet?'

'Do you, shoe online shop customer number 145583774, promise to love, honor and cherish electronic online shop customer number 9634217554...'

"Thanks but, 'you'll do' isn't a ringing endorsement of officiating your wedding."

Bridesmaid holding up the Bride's dress.

'Cool! Multiple choice.'