Nuptial Nervous Gifts

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

This is forever... till death do us part...

'Wait a minute - This is getting too close for comfort.'

"Actually, it's customary to say 'I do' to the groom, rather than text it."

"You may now begin venting about each other's wedding-prep behavior."

''Love, honor, and obey'? -- I had something less structured in mind.'

'Nobody really agrees about what marriage is these days, so I'll just say 'Yadda yadda yadda.''

The wedding.

Vicar tells bride, 'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"OK, but I'll have to run it by my husband."

"I have to admit, that's the first time I'd ever heard the term 'tech support' incorporated into wedding vows."

'Do you promise to love,honor and cherish -- until one of you decides to become a 'free agent'?'

'Surprised she's getting married again. In lieu of wedding gifts, she's asking for donations to help retain a divorce lawyer.'

'One is the videographer and the other is my lawyer.'

'I do. Just don't let it go to your head.'

Always a pleasure to supply your wedding cakes, Mabel, the usual is it?

''Forsaking all others'? - does that mean I have to turn my webcam off?'

"How much worse?"

'I'll take that as a 'yes.''

"Hello, Linda — long time, no see."

'He does.'

'Do you, shoe online shop customer number 145583774, promise to love, honor and cherish electronic online shop customer number 9634217554...'

'Is it mine yet?'

'We are gathered here today to witness this merger...'

Bridesmaid holding up the Bride's dress.

"Thanks but, 'you'll do' isn't a ringing endorsement of officiating your wedding."

'Cool! Multiple choice.'