Nervous Nuptials Gifts

'Wait a minute - This is getting too close for comfort.'

"You'd think he hated music by the way he tortures it."

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

This is forever... till death do us part...

"Now remember, if I jump out the window, I want to leave."

'Have you two taken the COSMO 'compatibility test'?'

"OK, now what?"

Apprehensive about leaving the baby with a sitter for the first time, Michelle scales back her romantic dinner with Al.

"Till death do us part? Hers or mine?"

"It isn't always all about you, Cindy."

"I came here because my podiatrist said he couldn't help me with my cold fee."

"You may now begin venting about each other's wedding-prep behavior."

Lady vicar offering new bride a husband owner's manual.

Things one would rather have left unsaid - 'I will!'

'Last seen running away from St. Paul's Church...'

The wedding.

'Nobody really agrees about what marriage is these days, so I'll just say 'Yadda yadda yadda.''

'You know I hate weddings - they remind me that I went through one!'

"I have to admit, that's the first time I'd ever heard the term 'tech support' incorporated into wedding vows."

'Yes! I can tell you why these two shouldn't be married. They stole those outfits from my formal wear store!'

"Lookin' good...I haven't eaten in three months!"

'I do. Just don't let it go to your head.'

Always a pleasure to supply your wedding cakes, Mabel, the usual is it?

"How much worse?"

"My camera froze up during the ceremony, but it wasn't a big problem. So did the groom."

"Same here. It's my first time too."

'Y'know, I'm glad we kept it small.'

'The groom called to say he can't marry you today. He totally forgot he was in a pool tournament this weekend.'

Is it true that a maitre d' has the authority to marry people, just like the captain of a ship? ? ?

'We can't get a divorce. We haven't paid for our wedding yet.'

I know we've only been married three weeks, dear, but it seems like you should know where the kitchen is by now!

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'