Nuptial Nervousnel Pillows

"How much worse?"

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

This is forever... till death do us part...

'Do you Duane, paternity suit notwithstanding, take Diane...'

'Wait a minute - This is getting too close for comfort.'

Vicar tells bride, 'We can't go on meeting like this'.

'Nobody really agrees about what marriage is these days, so I'll just say 'Yadda yadda yadda.''

The wedding.

"You may now begin venting about each other's wedding-prep behavior."

'Surprised she's getting married again. In lieu of wedding gifts, she's asking for donations to help retain a divorce lawyer.'

"I have to admit, that's the first time I'd ever heard the term 'tech support' incorporated into wedding vows."

'I do. Just don't let it go to your head.'

Always a pleasure to supply your wedding cakes, Mabel, the usual is it?

'I'll take that as a 'yes.''

'Taking up knitting has been good therapy for you.'

"Thanks but, 'you'll do' isn't a ringing endorsement of officiating your wedding."

'Do you, shoe online shop customer number 145583774, promise to love, honor and cherish electronic online shop customer number 9634217554...'

'Is it mine yet?'

'... and to think this is the same kid who was terrified of getting a shot at the doctor.'

'He does.'

The Couple who bought complete services for twelve, including dinner plates, luncheon plates, salad plates, soup bowls. . . .Out of Wedlock

"Hello, Linda — long time, no see."

'Cool! Multiple choice.'

Marriage Broker: Get married now...pay later.

"Fidget spinners, bubble poppers... I'm old school. I just bite my nails."

Laying on a bed of needles.

It's hard not to be bitter the second time around.

"Another fabulous wedding - - - my job is done here."

"No, it's not meant to mean the same as community service."