Novelty Item Aficionados T-Shirts

'Doctor, please help...The cat has clawed my girlfriend! I need a bicycle tube repair kit!'

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"Recalculating route..."

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

Family heirlooms that will never make it onto the mantelpiece.

'Now what?!'

'We have a tour every hour, on the hour, Sir...'

'These new metal detectors are great!'

Who'd have guessed that the season's mast have item would be big springy shoes.

'Please enter your pin now.'

'The valentine card I gave you talks, plays music and flashes lights! Who cares about the message???'

'It even tells time in metric minutes.'

"Mom, dad. I'm LED."

"Rats! It doesn't work...but why?? Why??!!"

"I got it in a novelty shop. But it has decreased loitering around the watercooler with 29%!"

"Krazy straw"

The Hooligan.

Leaking backpack.

Live, laugh, love

Carpet salesman, "There's a bit of tyre damage, but not so anyone would notice."

Spontaneous Combustion Man - Open with care

Thinks Bob: At last, the most practical house pet since the goldfish.

"I didn't waste lockdown. I did my own facelift."

"He must like you. He wants you to share his whoopie cushion."

'I did say we were going to give you transport...I didn't say what sort!'

Drinking Hats

Sheep Knitting.