Novelty Gift Enthusiast T-Shirts

Wow. He really did know the meaning of life. Too bad it wouldn't fit on a coffee mug.

'Fourteen pairs, please. I'm going bungy jumping.'

"I'll never forget the day Dad bought me x-ray specs for Christmas."

Valentine Gift think tank for single men who never get married

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'What kind of filling would you like?'

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

CEO.

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

Family heirlooms that will never make it onto the mantelpiece.

'Now what?!'

Happy Bifurcation Day,

'We have a tour every hour, on the hour, Sir...'

"I think you've overfed the plant!"

'Please enter your pin now.'

On the fifth day, Neville opts for jewelry.

"I got it in a novelty shop. But it has decreased loitering around the watercooler with 29%!"

GARDU VIN! (BEWARE!). Clown sees several pies to beware of.

"Read the card! Read the card!"

'Wait until you see what you got me!'

'The valentine card I gave you talks, plays music and flashes lights! Who cares about the message???'

The Re-Giving Tree

"The reason you're not popular is...well...you smell like shark repellant."

'It even tells time in metric minutes.'

"Fit watch say me need more steps."

"I didn't waste lockdown. I did my own facelift."

"He must like you. He wants you to share his whoopie cushion."

Adrenaline is flowing down there with lots of last-minute, panicked Christmas shoppers! The DNA is frantically looking for heirlooms that'll be passed on in succeeding generations. It seems no price is too high for the helium atom - it's buying everything! Meanwhile, the neutron can't charge and hasn't been able to buy a single gift! Tempers are getting short! A big nerve angered other shoppers by blatantly cutting in the checkout line! And there's a quarrel over a parking spot with a whit

Thinks Bob: At last, the most practical house pet since the goldfish.

Drinking Hats