Novelty Item Collectors T-Shirts

'Actually I'd rather sir had used a conventional cigarette lighter!'

Novelty Balloons: Customer services.

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

Clown on bike.

Fly Football

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

hard-boiled egg...

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"Yes, I said bring me the king. . .But not that king."

"Recalculating route..."

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

Hay Rides $10

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

Fossil record player.

Bathroom Fairy

The Hammer

Apocalypse Research Center

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

A crab with a utility knife claw

'I've found a spade I like Julia...'

"Roadkill cookies"

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

Peter Benchley's New Book Fish!

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

A close shave on the Titanic...

Lavatory Waterfall

'Have you any W fronts?'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

'This thing better hold. I don't know about you, but I don't find plan B very reassuring.'

'The guy in the scarecrow shop promised me that nothing scares crows better than the 'Giant Fox XR50'.'