Novelty Item Collectors Pillows

'Actually I'd rather sir had used a conventional cigarette lighter!'

Novelty Balloons: Customer services.

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

Fly Football

Clown on bike.

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

hard-boiled egg...

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

Hay Rides $10

"Recalculating route..."

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

Fossil record player.

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

Bathroom Fairy

Apocalypse Research Center

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

The Hammer

A crab with a utility knife claw

'I've found a spade I like Julia...'

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

'Have you any W fronts?'

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

"Roadkill cookies"

A close shave on the Titanic...

Peter Benchley's New Book Fish!

Lavatory Waterfall

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

'The guy in the scarecrow shop promised me that nothing scares crows better than the 'Giant Fox XR50'.'

'This thing better hold. I don't know about you, but I don't find plan B very reassuring.'

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."