Novelty Item Collecting Pillows

Luminous Sundials: Tell the Time in the Dark!

Clown on bike.

Fly Football

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

hard-boiled egg...

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"Recalculating route..."

Hay Rides $10

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

"Can you believe you left your job and family to search for this key, and it was under here the whole time?"

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

Fossil record player.

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

Apocalypse Research Center

The Hammer

Bathroom Fairy

A crab with a utility knife claw

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

Family heirlooms that will never make it onto the mantelpiece.

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

Lavatory Waterfall

A close shave on the Titanic...

"Roadkill cookies"

'Have you any W fronts?'

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"